My biggest regret
I hate coming home to sigma house :( It has been almost a year and I still feel homeless. I’ve isolated myself to the point where I’m not comfortable with those I used to be comfortable with and instead became attached to my bf. I run to him for everything, he’s my escape. But what do I do when I can’t be in the comfort of his arms??? I’ve lost all connections to those I was close with. I know they are there for me, but it’s not the same and will never be the same. I’m not blaming anyone, it is my fault for choosing to be distant. My friends always welcome me with open arms when I don’t want to be home and I appreciate it, but sometimes I just want to lay in bed in the comfort of my own room. I don’t even have that either :/ I’ve made so many poor decisions within the last year or so that affected me dearly. So how can I expect to be happy when my life is a total mess? Not many know this, not even my bf but sometimes when I’m alone in my room, I cry myself to sleep. Thinking about everything I did wrong in my life. Hoping things will get better. I even look forward to the future as a cure for my unhappiness, but the negative things in my life just pull me back down. I’m not writing this for people to feel sorry for me. I’m writing this because it’s been in my thoughts and its been left unsaid for a while. Tumblr is the only way I can express my feelings and emotions. For those who know me, I can’t express my feelings verbally. That is my weakness and trust me I’ve tried so much to changed that. Once ever blue moon I will write what is on my mind. Sometimes it’s short & sweet or there are times like this where it seems like I’m writing an essay or what not. Sigh…
